Monday, March 31, 2008

The Missus Chronicles #2: Mrs. Evil

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I hate wires. So you can just imagine what nightmare computers are, especially if you have a few peripherals. Keyboard, mouse, power cords, external drives, network cables, etc they just drive me crazy when they get tangled. I go on a rant when the missus moves the laptop to another part of the house and the cables get tangled when I use it. Naturally she's annoyed by it. So yesterday when we had to move the laptop, she gave me all the cables and said "Here, you connect them, you're going to kill me again if I mess up.", which is a funny way of saying what she wanted to say. Having the juvenile mind that I do, I turn to her and said "I knew it! I suspected it all this time! You're my evil arch rival disguised as a woman and tricked me into marrying you! Ha! I have uncovered your evil and elaborate scheme for revenge! You shall not succeed! I have defeated you before and I can do it again!"

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

The Laws of Karaoke Dynamics

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If you're planning to visit the Philippines and you have friends that live locally to take you on a night out, one of the likely places you'll end up in is a KTV Bar (Karaoke). In an effort to save you some grief, my unsuspecting friend, I present to you the basic laws of karaoke dynamics - heed them well.

The Basic Laws of Karaoke Dynamics

The amount of alcohol in one's system is:
- Inversely proportional to willingness to let go of the microphone.
- Directly proportional to the volume of the singing.

Enthusiasm has no direct relationship to talent.

For everyone to enjoy the night never state the obvious. Do not use the word 'bad', 'terrible', 'worst', etc in reference to anyone's singing. Expect the same courtesy.

In case you find yourself wanting to stab your ears with a rusty screwdriver, remember that alcohol also enhances the auditory senses much like it does the visual senses (i.e. Beer Goggles).

*sigh* Other people come up with the Theory of Relativity, Laws of Motions, Thermodynamics, but me I come up with junk like these.

Enjoy your night out, and no, you won't find Chocolate Rain in the song list.