Drive By Shootings #7: Marketing

So what do you think?

Swine Flu? Hygienic Standards? How many restaurant are using the dishwashing?

I really hope all of them are ‘using the dishwashing’. Hygienic Standards? Yes please. Swine Flu? No, thanks. I think I’ll pass on that one. I like swine as much as the next guy, but the flu thing is a deal breaker.

How did they come up with this poster?

“Hey, I really think we should have a banner for the new store.”

“Ah well, we need to send it out now to get it by opening day.”

“Just send the post-its with the notes from the last marketing meeting. They should be able to put something together.”

“You’re the boss.”

I didn’t even notice those two girls on a bike ‘till I looked at this picture. Now that’s sharing.

Is it just me or does the girl driving look terrified?

Drive By Shootings #6: Humility

Well, I think this cab driver has got it made :)

Drive By Shootings #5: Mindwerks

Happy Holidays everyone! This blog has been in hiatus for a while (not that I was ever a consistent poster) but I couldn't let the year end without a new post.

Saw this banner while driving pass Magallanes. A picture worthy of doingitwrong. I don't think this is the right way to solve Rubik's Cubes. But hey, I gotta hand it to their marketing team, with this method they would sell both a Rubik's Cube and a painting kit, very savvy.

Have a Happy New Year everyone! And for those yet to get me a gift this year, I would love a levitating Rubik's Cube myself. You know where to get it. Never mind the painting kit.

Drive By Shootings #5: RePhil

A gas station in the Philippines named "RePhil". Business owners must have put together a project team just to come up with this one. How do you think that meeting went?

Team Leader: We want something catchy, easy to remember. Something customers will relate to.

Team Member: How about "RePhil"? Get it? An abbreviation of "Republic of the Philippines" but also sounds like "Refill", like you do with your gas tank. Witty and patriotic.

Team Leader: Genius! Let's take a vote. Great, it's unanimous. Somebody give that man a cookie! Nice work people. Let's get out of here and pick-up our paychecks. Oh yeah, put down 8 hours for meeting duration.

Drive By Shootings #4: Discount Store

You know what, all I can say is that I appreciate the shop owner's honesty. If you're sharp enough to spot that this is a "discount store" and not a discount store, then you're okay. But if you miss it, well, he'll take your money. At least you had a chance, it's not an outright con.

Those unnecessary quotes, they're a killer.

Update (2/19/2008):

For more cases of unnecessary quotation marks, check out: The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks (thanks Ge!)

Drive By Shootings #3: Dirty Names

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present a contender for the Guinness Book of World Records title for the cheapest business sign in the world.

Get your business name out there with absolutely no cost. Just wait for the truck to get dirty as it goes about its daily business. I estimate that a trip around the metro during rush hour would do it. After you have a good layer of dirt and soot, take a piece of cloth (clean or dirty, doesn't matter) and start lettering. Wait, we might incur some cost with a piece of cloth, scratch that. Just take your finger, give it a good lick and start writing. You might have to re-lick that finger every now and then to keep it moist, feel free to use your other digits.

I say give Home Best Enterprises Furniture a perfect score on cost effectiveness and just forget about the other categories.

Drive By Shootings #2: Fight the Power

Somebody call the riot police! Chaos has broken out in the parking area of Anarchists Anonymous members!

In case you missed it, there's a sign on the wall that says "PARK FACING WALL". It might just be me, but I found this funny when I walked by it. Must have been some anti-establishment folks sticking it to the Man. "Hey parking sign, you're not the boss of me!"

Drive By Shootings #1: Asian Massage

New series! These will be pictures I took, mostly from my car, while driving around the metro. They won't be the best quality cause I usually use the camera on my mobile.

While I was driving home one night, this SUV pulled up beside me. My camera phone sucks at night shots, but you can still read most of the text. This really made me laugh when I read it, check it out (click photo for larger version):

If you can't read everything, here's what it says:

Asian Massage
Calming The Whole Nation
24 hour Massage Home Service & SPA (Php 250/HR)
STRICTLY MASSAGE ONLY! - GOD CAN SEE YOU!

I wish I could hear the recordings of the phone calls they received that lead them to put that in there.

Wow. Makes me kind of paranoid. Someone is watching all the time. I think I'm going to start wearing my swimming gear when I take a bath.

The Voices: That doesn't make a difference.
Me: Why?
The Voices: Well, if Superman has X-ray vision, don't you think HE will at least have that or more likely, something better?
Me: Lead underwear?
The Voices: If it helps you sleep at night.

Oh yeah. I think I found the perfect uniform for their masseuse: