If you're planning to visit the Philippines and you have friends that live locally to take you on a night out, one of the likely places you'll end up in is a KTV Bar (Karaoke). In an effort to save you some grief, my unsuspecting friend, I present to you the basic laws of karaoke dynamics - heed them well.
The Basic Laws of Karaoke Dynamics
The amount of alcohol in one's system is:
- Inversely proportional to willingness to let go of the microphone.
- Directly proportional to the volume of the singing.
Enthusiasm has no direct relationship to talent.
For everyone to enjoy the night never state the obvious. Do not use the word 'bad', 'terrible', 'worst', etc in reference to anyone's singing. Expect the same courtesy.
In case you find yourself wanting to stab your ears with a rusty screwdriver, remember that alcohol also enhances the auditory senses much like it does the visual senses (i.e. Beer Goggles).
*sigh* Other people come up with the Theory of Relativity, Laws of Motions, Thermodynamics, but me I come up with junk like these.
Enjoy your night out, and no, you won't find Chocolate Rain in the song list.