Saturday, December 27, 2008

Drive By Shootings #5: Mindwerks

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Happy Holidays everyone! This blog has been in hiatus for a while (not that I was ever a consistent poster) but I couldn't let the year end without a new post.

Saw this banner while driving pass Magallanes. A picture worthy of doingitwrong. I don't think this is the right way to solve Rubik's Cubes. But hey, I gotta hand it to their marketing team, with this method they would sell both a Rubik's Cube and a painting kit, very savvy.

Have a Happy New Year everyone! And for those yet to get me a gift this year,
I would love a levitating Rubik's Cube myself. You know where to get it. Never mind the painting kit.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Lazy Blogger #2: *Sigh*

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 Internet Dating

 

image3

 

Worst Day

This must be the cutest pug ever (*sigh*). I think I'm going to the pet store this weekend.

I added the captions but the images were from this flicker account.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Maya Moments

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Darth Vader Daddy

First of all, Happy Father's Day to all the males of the species that have been able to pass on their genetic material and produce offspring! Kudos. If you're a male black widow spider, well, this day might also be your funeral, but I digress.

Since it's Father's Day, we spent the afternoon with my parents over a late lunch. My parents got there before the missus and I. When we got there, my dad introduced us to his friend that was by chance celebrating Father's Day with his family in the same restaurant. We said hello, exchanged polite smiles and sat at our table. Later, they stopped at our table on their way out and we were introduced to the rest of the group. My father introduced me to his friend's son, Mark. As we were shaking hands, my mother said 'Mark is with Rivermaya'. The statement caught me by surprise and the only response that I was able to put together was 'Talaga?' (Really?). He smiled Mayaback at me and I was embarrassed for myself. This was Mark Escueta. Although I'm no fanboy, I love Rivermaya's music and have been listening to them for more than a decade. They are definitely on the list of best and most respected groups the Philippines has ever spawned. The family were all nice and we waved goodbye as they left. 

I have a few Rivermaya moments in my life, but I think that takes the cake. Let's countdown the other top 3:

Maya Moment #3: There was a week when I couldn't get one of their songs out of my head, You'll be Safe Here. I didn't have a copy of the album where the song was featured so I decided to ask one of my co-workers, who was a known Rivermaya fan, if she had a copy I could borrow. When I went up to her, she was chatting with a friend. I asked her if she had a copy of Rivermaya's latest album. She said she knows someone who does and asked if I was looking for a particular song. I said yeah, You'll be Safe Here. She and her friend looked at each other and giggled, 'That's been out around a year now and they imagehave a new album'. I suddenly felt old and very un-cool. I know, petty and trivial.

Maya Moment #2: I have blogged about my singing abilities before, the gist of it is I have no talent for it and the world would be better off if I avoid it altogether. But there was one time that I was singing and the missus turned to me and said 'that actually wasn't all that bad'. That's probably the best compliment I'm ever going to get. I only sang a portion of it and quit while I was ahead. The song was Rivermaya's Bring Me Down.

Maya Moment #1: I played guitar back in high school. I never got good at it. I could never tune my guitar without an electronic tuner. I did get to a point where I could play the basic chords, and with a lot of practice, I might learn a whole song. There were people in our  batch that were good and could play songs by ear. imageI, on the other hand, needed chords from Songhits or a similar magazine to be able to play. A group of them sometimes got together to jam during weekends. During our senior year, they were asked to perform at the last event for the seniors before graduation. They needed another person to play on guitar, for no other reason other than we were friends and I had the right equipment, they asked me to join. They certainly didn't asked me because of my talent. It was fun jamming with them and eventually playing in front of the batch. I sucked of course, but I had fun. One of the songs we played was Kisapmata by Rivermaya. One of the coolest things I have ever done.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Unexpected Results

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What???!

M2M

How disturbing is it that I'm #4 in these search results. Well, good luck whoever you are. I hope you found what you were looking for. Be careful though, it is Friday the 13th, you never know what you're gonna get....uhm, like a box of chocolates....a male box of chocolates.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Cerebral Flatulence #2: Restrooms

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It's important to have clean restrooms. No question about it. People will risk bursting a bladder rather than use vomit-invoking public restrooms. Sparkling tiles is a sign of a well maintained restroom. Although it might be too much if you can actually see the reflection of the person in the next cubicle. A less reflective ceramic flooring might be in order in such instances.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Hmmm...Spam

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I have one email address that I use to sign-up on sites that requires one. That email address gets hit by a thousand spam mails everyday. How great would life be if all Spam mails were genuine?

- I would win the lottery everyday!

- I would get paid hundreds of dollars for a single day's work...at home!

- Free vacations to everywhere, including accommodations!

- Free computers, phones, and all kinds of gadgets!

- All the ladies want to meet me for...ah...wholesome and intelligent conversations, I guess.

image

Seems like spammers are now sending their junk from the future, about 30 years from now. No wonder these guys never get caught. They haven't even been born yet. Somebody find their parents and take away their Viagra.

Unfortunately, there are draw backs. If spam was true, I would be overweight and depressed, which would explain the erectile dysfunction. I would be on anti-depressants, not to mention an addiction to a multitude of other prescription drugs. I would also be suffering from Alzheimer's and osteoporosis. I wouldn't be able to go on all those vacations and wouldn't be capable of anything other than intelligent conversations with the opposite sex. I would need all the money from the lottery winnings to pay for the medical bills and drug rehabilitation (or support the drug addi
ction). I would be stuck in the hospital in a dark room basking in the glow of my free computer, growing pale and wasting away. Well, as they say, to everything there is a balance.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Mother's Day

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To all mothers, Happy Mother's Day!

First thing the wife and I did when we woke up this morning was call our mothers to greet them. We were going to visit my mom later in the day. We had her on speaker when we called her, here's how part of the call went:

Me: "Do you want us to pick-up anything on the way there?"

Her answer was quick, there was no pause and it seemed she was just waiting for me to ask. She pounced on the question and answered with a snap.

Mom: "Jollibee!"

She sounded a little too excited for junk food so it made me laugh
. After we all recovered from chuckling, we asked her what she wanted us to get her.

Mom: "Fried chicken and that big burger they have."

Me: "Champ Burger?"

Mom: "No, not that one, the other one."

I looked at the missus puzzled.

Missus: "Aloha Burger ma'?"

Mom: "Yup, that's the one."

After chuckling a bit more (she was laughing too), we told her we would be there in an hour or so with the food. We later found that Jollibee no longer sold Aloha Burgers, so we just got her a Champ (aww). We also bought her a cake. When we got there, we had a nice junk food meal together, and then had cake and ice cream. It was a menu for a children's party. Dad was out of town on business so it was just the three of us. He probably would have something to say about the food we were eating. He regularly point's out that it wouldn't hurt the three of us to lose some weight. Of course, he does it out of love, or so he says. We spent the rest of the day talking and watched a couple of videos. The missus and I brought "Hairspray" and "The Bucket List" for us to watch. We all enjoyed both movies. Mom especially related to Hairspray, she used to style her hair the same way as the women in the movie. We really needed no convincing as both the missus and I have seen tons of her photographs during that time. In this post is one of those photographs. This was an old worn-out and damaged photograph which I scanned and did some restoration on, so if you see that she has six fingers on one hand, an extra pair of legs or eyes, that was my fault. Mom's perfectly normal and won't be joining the X-Men any time soon. Well, she does have high blood pressure, but I don't think that will qualify as a special ability.


She was also familiar with some of the dance moves in the film. Mom's a good dancer. If there are any researchers out there on the subject, I am definitive proof that dancing is not hereditary. I'd be happy to take part in any case study, especially if you're working on a cure for awkward dancing. That reminds me, even though I live and grew up in the Philippines, there are lots of foreigners who come to visit. I can offer first hand knowledge to the fact that white men can't dance. Not only can't they dance, they frequently inflict injuries to people unfortunate enough to be next to them on the dance floor. That fact should soon be in the science books. Hmmm, that seems to conflict with my earlier statement that dancing abilities are not hereditary, so much for consistency. Seems like we've digressed here, what was I talking about again? Oh yeah, Happy Mother's Day!

Monday, May 05, 2008

Drive By Shootings #5: RePhil

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A gas station in the Philippines named "RePhil". Business owners must have put together a project team just to come up with this one. How do you think that meeting went?
Team Leader: We want something catchy, easy to remember. Something customers will relate to.

Team Member: How about "RePhil"? Get it? An abbreviation of "Republic of the Philippines" but also sounds like "Refill", like you do with your gas tank. Witty and patriotic.

Team Leader: Genius! Let's take a vote. Great, it's unanimous. Somebody give that man a cookie! Nice work people. Let's get out of here and pick-up our paychecks. Oh yeah, put down 8 hours for meeting duration.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

The Missus Chronicles #3: 15 Minutes

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I was listening to Mellow 94.7 and heard about this show they do, Desert Island Disc. Basically the idea is you send in a list of songs you would take with you if you were marooned on a desert island. If I was going to be a jerk about it, I would say - "If I knew I was going to be stuck in a desert island ahead of time, I would bring a satellite phone, a GPS homing device, a raft, etc." But I'm always game for hypothetical situations, so I sent them an email with my songs and a long with a brief message. It got picked and Chloe read it on their show April 15, 2008 with some side commentaries from her and Chris. They sent me back a message before the day so I had a chance to prepare and record the segment. Here's a recording of the show where I cut out all the songs and just left in the stuff where they were reading my email. And who else would I pick-on aside from the missus? No one really. Check it out:


You can also listen or download through this link (5.61 MB).

I was hoping this was going to be my big break. But it has been a week now and no one has stopped me on the street to ask for my autograph and Hugh Hefner hasn't called with an offer to pose for Playboy. I guess that 15 minutes of fame isn't what it used to be.

Monday, March 31, 2008

The Missus Chronicles #2: Mrs. Evil

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I hate wires. So you can just imagine what nightmare computers are, especially if you have a few peripherals. Keyboard, mouse, power cords, external drives, network cables, etc they just drive me crazy when they get tangled. I go on a rant when the missus moves the laptop to another part of the house and the cables get tangled when I use it. Naturally she's annoyed by it. So yesterday when we had to move the laptop, she gave me all the cables and said "Here, you connect them, you're going to kill me again if I mess up.", which is a funny way of saying what she wanted to say. Having the juvenile mind that I do, I turn to her and said "I knew it! I suspected it all this time! You're my evil arch rival disguised as a woman and tricked me into marrying you! Ha! I have uncovered your evil and elaborate scheme for revenge! You shall not succeed! I have defeated you before and I can do it again!"

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

The Laws of Karaoke Dynamics

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If you're planning to visit the Philippines and you have friends that live locally to take you on a night out, one of the likely places you'll end up in is a KTV Bar (Karaoke). In an effort to save you some grief, my unsuspecting friend, I present to you the basic laws of karaoke dynamics - heed them well.

The Basic Laws of Karaoke Dynamics

The amount of alcohol in one's system is:
- Inversely proportional to willingness to let go of the microphone.
- Directly proportional to the volume of the singing.

Enthusiasm has no direct relationship to talent.

For everyone to enjoy the night never state the obvious. Do not use the word 'bad', 'terrible', 'worst', etc in reference to anyone's singing. Expect the same courtesy.

In case you find yourself wanting to stab your ears with a rusty screwdriver, remember that alcohol also enhances the auditory senses much like it does the visual senses (i.e. Beer Goggles).

*sigh* Other people come up with the Theory of Relativity, Laws of Motions, Thermodynamics, but me I come up with junk like these.

Enjoy your night out, and no, you won't find Chocolate Rain in the song list.



Friday, February 15, 2008

Drive By Shootings #4: Discount Store

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You know what, all I can say is that I appreciate the shop owner's honesty. If you're sharp enough to spot that this is a "discount store" and not a discount store, then you're okay. But if you miss it, well, he'll take your money. At least you had a chance, it's not an outright con.

Those unnecessary quotes, they're a killer.

Update (2/19/2008):

For more cases of
unnecessary quotation marks, check out: The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks (thanks Ge!)

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Drive By Shootings #3: Dirty Names

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Ladies and gentlemen, may I present a contender for the Guinness Book of World Records title for the cheapest business sign in the world.

Get your business name out there with absolutely no cost. Just wait for the truck to get dirty as it goes about its daily business. I estimate that a trip around the metro during rush hour would do it. After you have a good layer of dirt and soot, take a piece of cloth (clean or dirty, doesn't matter) and start lettering. Wait, we might incur some cost with a piece of cloth, scratch that. Just take your finger, give it a good lick and start writing. You might have to re-lick that finger every now and then to keep it moist, feel free to use your other digits.

I say give Home Best Enterprises Furniture a perfect score on cost effectiveness and just forget about the other categories.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Drive By Shootings #2: Fight the Power

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Somebody call the riot police! Chaos has broken out in the parking area of Anarchists Anonymous members!

In case you missed it, there's a sign on the wall that says "PARK FACING WALL". It might just be me, but I found this funny when I walked by it. Must have been some anti-establishment folks sticking it to the Man. "Hey parking sign, you're not the boss of me!"

Monday, February 11, 2008

Drive By Shootings #1: Asian Massage

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New series! These will be pictures I took, mostly from my car, while driving around the metro. They won't be the best quality cause I usually use the camera on my mobile.

While I was driving home one night, this SUV pulled up beside me. My camera phone sucks at night shots, but you can still read most of the text. This really made me laugh when I read i
t, check it out (click photo for larger version):

If you can't read everything, here's what it says:
Asian Massage
Calming The Whole Nation
24 hour Massage Home Service & SPA (Php 250/HR)
STRICTLY MASSAGE ONLY! - GOD CAN SEE YOU!
I wish I could hear the recordings of the phone calls they received that lead them to put that in there.

Wow. Makes me kind of paranoid. Someone is watching all the time. I think I'm going to start wearing my swimming gear when I take a bath.

The Voices: That doesn't make a difference.
Me: Why?
The Voices: Well, if Superman has X-ray vision, don't you think HE will at least have that or more likely, something better?
Me: Lead underwear?
The Voices: If it helps you sleep at night.

Oh yeah. I think I found the perfect uniform for their masseuse:

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Cerebral Flatulence #3: Science &Technology

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Instant Messaging is revolutionary; it breaks down social barriers and connects people like never before. How else would you have a civilized conversation with anyone while in your stained underpants reeking of body odor and bad breath in your bedroom.

Science tells us that two bodies could not occupy the same space at the same time. Following the same thought, you would think that you would not be able close a car door when a human hand is in the way. Well, with the appropriate amount of force, you can apparently break the laws of physics. I also found that the by-product of such a process is a tremendous amount of pain.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Life Resilient

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We have this little plant growing in a little hole between our garage floor and wall (pictured left). The floor is some type of marble and the wall is concrete, yet this plant found that little source of light and broke through the surface. I'm totally amazed by it every time I walk by it in the morning. The little seed that could, a show of how resilient life can be.

That little plant (we don't know what it is) reminded me of the Narra tree in front of my parent's house (pictured right). That tree was a project back when I was still in primary school. I think we were asked to bring different kinds of trees. Back then, it was still a sapling when I brought it to school. After we presented it in school, I brought it back home and forgot about it. No one really paid attention to it and it was not watered daily. One day, my mother came to visit, she noticed the tree. It was in an old tin can and most of the leaves had fallen off. The thing was sickly and looked dead. She took it home with her and planted it in an empty lot in front of her house. Amazingly, it recovered and after a couple of decades, it is huge and I would not be able to wrap my arms around it if I tried. It is a magnificent tree. A friend of my father who is reputed to have a third eye (e.g. paranormal sight) once came over to visit and paused in front of the tree. He told my father never to take it down as there are good spirits who live in the tree that watched over it and its surroundings, including their home. He said that this was one of the reasons why my parent's home has been safe in spite of the fact that their place is one of the oldest in the area and almost all of their neighbors houses have been burglarized.

Also, when the missus and I were driving along Pres. Quirino Avenue, we saw a tree that was planted in the partition that separated the north and south bound lanes of the traffic (pictured right). It must have gotten too big than what the partition could handle as it was cut down leaving only a stump. But growing from the stump was two fresh but thick green branches. It the middle of the Manila traffic where pollution was so bad that most of the other tree's branches had turned black this tree, that was cut down, is surviving and bursting with new life.